Friday, November 8, 2013

My two sons

Mark and Jack,

My dear boys. Mark, you are 27 months old and Jack you are almost 8 months old. I often reflect on my life and what I imagined it would be. I can transport myself back in time to when I first met your dad and although I knew being a mom was the ultimate blessing and exactly what I wanted, I was not prepared for what was to come. I'm not even talking about the selflessness, the lack of sleep, the constant gogogo that comes with being a mom. I am talking about the fact that it feels like my heart is walking around outside of my body. The feeling that you two are so much a part of me, it is as if I am missing a limb when you are away from me. All of the stress, anxiety, and worry are worth it when I hear that belly laugh of yours Mark, or Jack, when you squeal and grip my face trying to plant a huge wet kiss on me (or bite me....but whatever, semantics). Or the times when Mark asks me to "hold me just a lil bit" before I tuck you into bed. It's so worth it when Jack is nursing and stares into my eyes and pats my chest. Being a mom is the hardest job I have ever had and I believe it is the hardest job that exists. Yes, I truly believe that. I also believe that it is worth it, ten fold, in the small moments that make your heart swell. As Mark is becoming older and his vocabulary expanding, he melts my heart constantly. I wanted to take a moment to record what you two have been up to lately...time flies and I don't want to forget this.

Mark, you, as always, are extremely independent. A boy after my own heart. You are also quite argumentative. Ahem. I'm not sure where you got that. This is a typical conversation: 
Mark: Mommy, what's that? :::points to picture of Ape in one of your favorite books "I love you Stinky Face"
Mommy: That's an Ape. :::reads "But Momma, But momma, What if I were a big, scary Ape, would you still love me then?:::
Mark: No, that's not an Ape, that's a monkey. 
Mommy: Ok Mark. :::reads "But momma, but momma, what if I were a big, scary, monkey, would you still love me then?::::
Mark: No, mommy, that's not a monkey, it's a big scary Ape. 

le sigh. Son, you inherited this trait from me. I hope we can harness this into a positive. I, for one, admire that you think for yourself and see a challenge at every corner but I can assure you, not everyone will feel this way. And no, this does not mean you should go to law school!

When we aren't debating, we are going for walks, playing with playdoh, singing songs and dancing. You love to play the drums and you are actually very good. If you are musically inclined, I am hoping for a more soft/soothing instrument...maybe piano?! You adore your puppies and like to rough house with them. Mickey Mouse is your favorite and I am so looking forward to introducing you to Mickey in a few weeks when we go visit Kaki and Papa. You love all your family and pray for them every night. You know how to melt mommy's heart by asking me to "hold me just a lil bit" when I am tucking you in at night. You often respond to me telling you how much I love you with an enthusiastic "Thaaaaanks Mommy". Your laugh is infectious and your smile can light up a room. You know which teams you support and are quick to follow up a "Geaux" with "TIGERS" and you can chant "who dat?!" with the best of them. You love to play with daddy but I still am the one who comforts you when you are sad or upset. You have no idea what that means to me. Although one day you won't run to me to hug you and kiss away your bobos, I hope you always know I am here for you and will try my hardest to make you feel better. I dread the day when I cannot take away your pain. I know it is imminent and I don't know how parents do it. You love your family and pray for them all every night. It warms my soul to hear you thank God for everyone who is near and dear to you. I love you my sweet, strong, smart Mark. 

Jack, my happy lovable boy. You are the happiest baby I have ever been around. You are a momma's boy and I LOVE that. You are my sweet baby and growing up entirely too fast. I relish the moments where you are enamored with me. You are an amazing sleeper and have been since 5 weeks old. Unlike your brother, you not only sleep well at night but you nap well also. You adore Mark. He makes you smile even when he cries. (he is not amused by this) You get so excited when you get your hands on me you want to bite me. We are working on that :). You are so strong, physically. Just don't start crawling or walking yet...momma's still getting used to life with 2 kiddos. You and your brother remind me so much of each other at times yet you are remarkably different as well. You love to eat! Thank goodness. You have the best belly laugh. You love to cuddle. You make sounds that sound like "dada" but I am holding out for "mama". You are so laid back and easy going. You were the best surprise of my life and my constant reminder to take a step back. I love you more than life itself and am so excited to watch  you grow.

I could write for hours about the memories of you two that I don't want to forget.But at the end of the day, I am just trying to enjoy those moments with the two of you. You both bring so much joy to my life. I am a bit sad about how fast it goes but mostly I am just enjoying it. Every age and stage is fun and I think that will hold true even when you are both grown. I love you both to the moon and back. Love always, Mommy.